The idiot's way

What I like most about the movie '3 idiots' is the portrayal of unconditional acceptance of friendship. Halfway through the movie Ranjho's (played by Aamir) friends realise that he was not the person who he had claimed to be. They come to know that all of the years that they had spent together in college was part of a scam and even the name by which they knew him was false. But their friendship does not falter. They still consider that guy, without a name, as their friend. His name, family or wealth does not affect their friendship. They still consider him their buddy because of the person that he had been; for his values, ideas & passions.

Absolute, total and complete acceptance. No conditions, no ifs, no buts. The kind of acceptance that each and everyone of us crave for.

I know many who are into relationships that involves promises of undying and everlasting love. They are serious about these promises and that is pretty obvious when they are together. You can literally see the sparks flying.

But in most cases they insist on changing things about their loved ones - habits, personal traits, dressing, hairstyle, footwear and sometimes their lingo too. Why do they do that?

Isn't love about accepting someone as they are? Or is it about finding a person, customising them to your tastes(in turn changing the essence of them) and then claiming that you love them. Is that what love is?

Idealistic as it may sound, I believe that love is not just another act, like shopping. You choose a dress, pick it in another color, alter the size, shorten the sleeves, bargain over the price and purchase it - and you feel proud about your purchase.

I dont want love to be like that. I want love to be accepting. It may not be possible to accept everything, but we can be accomodating. We can try to love them for what they are, not for what they can be. Of course, if any of their traits are leading them into trouble we should correct them.

If what they do is harmless, then isnt it better to have a partner who is a little towards the fat side, wears a sackcloth, has unruly hair but loves you with all that they have. For the simple reason that you accept and love them as they are.