Letting go

It killed her to let him go. It was not as if he was the first or the last one. But he was undoubtedly the best one.

It was a given that he was the most good looking of all of them. His coloring was so exquisite, she used to stare at him unashamedly. He had the most expressive eyes. He would stare her down, when she challenged him to do something he didnt want to. He had this special "I'm a man, I know how to take care of myself" look, when she fussed over him. And he had this really cute, hurt look when she scolded him.

It was not only in the looks department. He knew her so well. He knew when to keep quiet and listen to her whining. He knew when to cuddle her, or when to give her a soft slap. He knew when to walk along with her, just walking and no talking.

She was always aware of him checking out the cute ones around. But what the heck!! She couldnt own him. He was what he was. And she had learned to live with it. She never questioned him when he left her alone in bed, somewhere during the night. She never asked him where he had been, when he carried his important self in through the front door.

She thought back on all the ones that had come and gone.

The first one. Oh!! the first one. Sweet sixteen. She had opened her arms, wide for him. They had been inseperable. Until she went away to college. The distance didnt help and her parents put their foot down. And just like that, they became separable and she let him go. It had hurt, but she got over it.

The second one. That was in college. She had first seen him on the way back from a dinner party with her friends. Boy, did that one have guts. He followed her home that night. And from that day on he followed her wherever she went. He followed her even to her classes. How romantic!! She couldnt help but open her doors to him. But slowly the romanticism was lost on her. She couldnt go anywhere without bumping into him. She got so fed up that she kicked him out. That was that.

And along came the next one. Out of the blue. When she was least expecting it. She fell in love with him almost instantaneously. He was the sweetest thing that walked on earth. Or so she thought. He was sweet but too sweet for her. He kept whimpering for her attention. Which she couldnt spare. She had a job now. More responsibilities. She couldnt spend all her time with him. The sulking turned so sour, that she couldnt put up with it anymore. Her life had enough wrong things without him helping. Then she decided that he had to go on his way. He had to live his life and let her live hers.

She was sapped out of all emotion. She didnt think she wanted to have any more. All those episodes of hit-n-run had left her dead inside. She thought she had seen it all.

But then she met him. She was bowled over, the first day she saw him. He was so genuine that she couldnt help smiling at herself. It was like a dream. He was the best of all. But even that was not meant to be forever.

She was moving to a new place and he couldnt come with her. She thought it best that they part. Letting go of him will be hard. But what else could she do.

That evening while pouring him milk, she broke the news to him. He listened to her very patiently. His soulful eyes tore at her heart. Then he gave a bark of thanks and lapped up the milk. Her eyes filled up has she watched her favorite dog drink up.